Yes, if...

When we need to find an excuse as to why we can’t achieve a particular goal or we want to justify why we can’t do something we often use the phrase, “No, because....” But what if a simple reframe could open up a world of possibility? What if “No, because…” changes to “Yes, if…”?

The power of the reframe

Obstacles will always be there and it is easy to let them overwhelm us or to give us a reason to give up. This can be quite a fixed mindset, but a growth mindset allows us the possibility of future change. 

For example, maybe you would like to go travelling for a year. Your response may be “No, because I don’t have enough money; no, because I don’t want to take a sabbatical from work and getting a visa is hard work; no, because there is a global pandemic and so I can’t travel.”

If you changed the response to “Yes, if…” you are allowing yourself to explore what would need to happen for this to remain a possibility. For example, “Yes, if I could spend a year saving; yes, if I could continue to work whilst I was abroad; yes, if I could take a sabbatical from work; yes, if I did the research and understood more about visa requirements; yes, if the pandemic is under control this is a possibility, and I now have time to research/save money so when I can travel again, I will be in a position to be able to take advantage of this.”

You may still not decide to take a year out to travel but you are not shutting something down without giving yourself a chance to overcome the obstacles you have put up in the “no, because” mindset.

Are you denying the world your brilliance?

What if you’ve been asked to speak at an online forum which you know you would be able to add value, but your initial response is “No, because I don’t like public speaking, I’m not expert enough, I’m too shy and I will make a fool of myself”? What would happen if you changed that response to “Yes, if I have time to practice; yes, if I can get a full brief of the requirements; yes, if I can record myself and work with a coach or trainer to improve my speaking skills; yes, if I can work on my mindset”? Instead of denying people the value you can offer because of your own fears, you are in a solution-focused mindset of overcoming your personal objections to be able to serve those that need you.

Another example may be that you want to earn more money and a promotion comes up but your thought process is “No, because I don’t feel ready”. If you could change this to “Yes, if I had X experience, or Y qualification” what difference does that make to you? The obstacles are still the same, but you are now thinking about ways to overcome them. It may be the promotion isn’t right at this time, but instead of the fixed mindset of not feeling ready you have identified what you need to feel ready so if an opportunity arises in the future you will then be ready, or you have an action plan you can talk through with the hiring manager to show how you would proactively handle the challenges you’ve identified. Regardless of the outcome of the promotion this time round you are taking action to be able to achieve your goals in the long run.

Giving yourself choices

Can you see the power of this simple reframe that can mean you are open to life’s possibilities, and you are giving yourself choice rather than shutting things down through fear or your lack of self-confidence? 

I would love for you to share your thoughts and successes below!